It's 2nd January 2020 and I'm not ready for the responsibility of starting a shiny new decade.
My social media feeds have been full of posts of people ‘strutting into the new decade like [insert image of super-confident person that’s bursting with ambition} and impressive posts saying things like ‘look out new decade, here I come'.
Other people and other small businesses seem to be ready to ‘smash it' while I am tentatively dipping my toe in.
I met business people in 2019 that were inspirational who made me feel like any of it – all of it in fact - is possible. People who's plans for the new year and decade were nailed down weeks ago. They are in no doubt about where they want to go, how they are going to get there and how much money they will make in the meantime.
I, on the other hand, don’t have a master plan for the decade.
I am left feeling inadequate. I should be 'levelling up' and informing the Universe of exactly what I want so that it has the opportunity to give it to me.
The plans and ideas that I have for this new year excite me.
But they also scare me.
I brought a new product to market last year and am still a little sore over how hard it has been. It takes time to build a brand that people trust and, while I am completely confident in my products, perhaps I am lacking the 'all guns blazing' attitute that very successful business owners seem to have?
Perhaps I don't have 'it'?
Perhaps I'm too......British?
I recently made a booking for a 10th birthday party for my twin girls.
I sat down with one of the shop assistants who (irrelevantly to my story) was a boy of about 18 years old who had a 5 o’clock shadow, make-up and a skirt on.
I was far less interested in the way he was dressed than I was his bizarre and over the top responses to my answers…
And so it continued, all the way though to taking my credit card number.
A similar thing happened recently with a waiter in Wagamama’s. He said “AMAZING” after everything I asked for (although, on this occasion, I would agree with his OTT sentiment about the Gyoza).
I don’t feel AMAZING.
I feel like I want to slip quietly into January without any fanfare.
So I'm dipping my toe into the new decade. And it's....fine.